Lake of Memories::
by ArkaneFury
Summary: The story of Cloud's past and the real reason for his stoic personality, his childhood friend, Sakura, the only one he'd ever been in love with. But will he be too late to tell her? Find out, in this thrilling tale of two lovers...


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Before-Hand Notes:**

**Hi everyone! My first ever story, 'Sakura,' story has been improved.**

**Romance/Tragedy **

**Be warned that this story is LOOONG and if your lazy or something then you probably can't be bothered reading it. **

**I don't mind criticisms but if you are going to then please READ the ENTIRE story first. I hate hearing people say "This SUCKS!" before even knowing what it is that does suck. I also hate it when people say something idiotic for NO REASON at all.**

**The characteres within this story have nothing to do with Final Fantasy's original storyline. I do not own the characters created by SQUARESOFT etc, etc.**

**If it confuses you, this story is written from the main characters point of view, he is telling it like a story of a past experience but some parts will switch to present-tense like he is really reliving a memory. Then it will completely switch to present as he is now living the story but it will not indicate when this does actually happen. I hope this brief paragraph will help you understand the story a little easier. **

**EDIT: The start might seem a little boring at first, but if you keep on reading and push through, the story should get better (yes, i know the introduction is meant to be interesting and draw in readers but i'm having a small case of writer's block at the moment. sorry about that). It's all just to get the story going and i have to introduce everything before i can actually start telling the story soo, sorry about that as well. Like i said, it's my first story and i did my best!**

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**.:Lake of Memories:.

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This story began one Saturday afternoon. I think I was around five years old then.

My best friend, Zack, had to move away because his father had achieved a promotion at work. This meant that he had to move to another state. I probably should have felt sad or something, but for some reason it just never occurred to me. The fact that I would never see my best friend again. I ran over to the tree house that Zack and I had built together in my front yard. It wasn't the best tree house you could ever have seen but it was pretty good work for a bunch of five-year-olds. It was pretty spacious and it was a good place to hide if ever you got into trouble. That was because there was so much junk lying around; we could easily dive into the mess and not be seen. We lived right next door to each other so it was really convenient too. I climbed up the weather-worn rope ladder, sat next to the window and picked up a nearby comic book.

Just as I had settled down I noticed a moving truck parked on Zack's driveway. His Mum and Dad seemed to be wandering around the back of the truck. They were talking to some men in overalls that were carrying their luggage, pointing at a different spot in the truck every now and then. I figured they were the movers and had come to carry all the belongings into the truck and into the next house. I looked around for Zack and found his wacky, over-spiked head sitting in the blue car that his parents owned. I called to him and waved, though as he waved back, his parents got into the car and started the engine. That was the last time I saw him.

Not long after, another moving truck appeared down the street and behind it a big, red Toyota. The truck parked by the curb and the men inside began unloading it instantly. The Toyota parked on the driveway and two people, a man and a woman, stepped out. They stretched and breathed in the air as if they had been driving for a long time. I was about to continue reading my comic when a girl about my age stepped out after them. She was the most beautiful girl you could ever have laid eyes on.

I slapped myself for that thought because no self-respecting five-year-old boy would ever think like that about a girl, but I couldn't help but stare at her more. Even from up in the tree house I could tell that she was beautiful. She had shoulder-length hair. She would have been completely ordinary, were it not for the unusual colour her hair. It was a light, snowlike pink, which was something I'd never seen before. I continued to stare at her as she turned around and looked at her new house. She had a fair complexion, and the most dazzling eyes. Anyone who would look into those eyes would lose their souls in them forever.

Wait… eyes? I came out of my stupor and found that she was looking at me. I felt all fuzzy and began to look away. Before I could do anything however, she smiled at me and waved. I waved back, a bit more energetically and rapidly than I had meant to. Realising how silly I must have looked I stopped immediately and continued to look at her with slight apprehension. She ran towards the tree house, with such speed in fact, that by the time I had reached the ladder she was already at the base of the tree.

"Hi! Mind if I come up there with you?"

Her voice sounded as sweet and kind as honey. For some reason, I got that same fuzzy feeling again from before. Pushing that thought out of my mind I said to her,

"Sure, but it's a bit messy up here. You might not fit."

That, however, was an obvious lie. I was actually hoping she would leave because I was afraid what she might do if she came up here. Another reason was that I had never properly talked to a girl before. There was a possibility of getting into a dangerous, maybe even scary, situation.

She shrugged,

"That's fine. I'll come up anyway."

And with that she climbed up the ladder. I began throwing some comics into the corner to clear some space for her though when I turned around she was already seating herself by the window where I had been seconds before. She looked around for awhile, observing the sturdiness and untidiness of the cubby before turning to me.

"This tree house has been built very well."

"Yeah, that's 'cause I built it, with the help of my best friend Zack of course." I pointed at my chin with my thumb.

"Really? I thought you might've gotten someone else to do it, like a carpenter…"

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I wouldn't be able to build something as awesome as this?" I know I sound all pompous and macho saying that but I was actually afraid that I might have wet myself. Thus attracting more attention to my face by pointing at it.

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" I knew she was only joking around when she said that because she then gave me one of the warmest smiles I had ever seen, which then triggered another wobbly belly.

"I'm Sakura by the way! What's your name?"

"It's Cloud."

"That's an odd name."

"It's no odder than Sakura…"

"I don't think 'odder' is a real word." She tilted her head as she said this which made her look somewhat cuter. Another wobbling belly. I couldn't take anymore and collapsed on the floor, rubbing my legs as if they had turned to jelly.

"Does it matter?"

"Guess not. Anyway, It's a pleasure to meet you CLOUD!" she exclaimed whilst grabbing my hand and shaking it rapidly.

There, it was easy. We talked a little bit more and we found out that we had many similarities.

Like our birthday. It was practically on the same day. Well, sort of. She was actually one day younger than me exactly. Anyhow, that's how it all started.

Everyday after that was better than anything I'd ever imagined. I was a bit hesitant at first because I wasn't sure a girl would have liked to catch frogs, play baseball or ride bikes but she did all those things anyway. Thinking back on it now, it was probably all just to please me.

It turned out that she had a natural gift for catching frogs. One day I brought her to the huge lake that only Zack and I knew about. Well, I think only Zack and I knew about it. Anyways, I applauded and cheered after she caught an exceptionally large one and for some reason, she turned and looked away, but not before I saw a hint of red curling throughout her cheeks.

We did everything together and always stood up for each other. I remember one time, when we were playing baseball. She hit the ball so hard that it flew out of the park. I was amazed that she could hit so hard and so accurately but before I could congratulate her on winning the game I heard a crack like something large had just broken into little pieces. The ball had smashed right through a window of a house. I ran over to check and see which one. Unlucky. It was where the cranky old man lived.

I explained to the old fart that it was my fault the ball had gone through the window and that he didn't actually see Sakura hit the ball. That he was just going old and senile. After another few minutes… or was it a few hours? I couldn't tell because I was too busy noticing Sakura. She was standing behind me with her head resting on the back of my neck. She was holding my hand as well, they were soft and smooth like nothing I had ever felt before.

This somehow gave me a lift and I could've probably gone on arguing forever. Anyways, after an hour or so of heated argument I offered to pay for the damages done to his crappy window. That was a whole months allowance gone, and I would most definitely be grounded for a really long time. I thought that if I explained to my parents that I didn't actually hit his window, that I was just protecting Sakura then maybe I wouldn't have been grounded.

But then I realised that there could be two outcomes to this. Either they don't believe me and say that I'm just trying to get out of trouble by placing the blame on Sakura. Then they would tell her parents, her parents would tell her and she would probably hate me forever. Or, they could completely believe me and say that I now have a crush on Sakura and put on googly faces, say things like 'Ooh la la!' with those annoying baby voices and I would never, ever hear the end of it. They'd probably tell her parents as well, thus causing them to tell her and then I would shun myself from society forevermore. Considering these mentally jarring outcomes I decided to just take on the blame completely and whole-heartedly. It wasn't that bad actually. It was practically a slap on the wrist. Much better than I had anticipated… or maybe they'd seen what happened? Nah.

There was also the time when she was getting bullied at the park. I was buying some ice-cream for her at the time. The ice-cream truck was quite a distance away but I could hear everything they said.

"It's probably why her hair's pink, yo!"

"She must dye her hair because it's all white!"

"Like an old granny…"

She just stood there as they began pushing her around and laughing the whole time.

I felt an intense fire growing within me. I felt so angry that it seemed impossible that they couldn't feel the heat emanating from me, even from that distance. Blood red clouds swirled into my mind. Something inside me was stirring. A beast which wanted to burst through me and hurt those idiots. Inflict as much pain as possible to every part of their body. I knew that what they said were just words, but then they had to go and start pushing her around. I rushed at them, fists flailing through the air, ready to strike. I landed a blow on one of them but it seemed to have no effect. They all converged on me instead. Before I could react I had been punched in the stomach. I fell to the ground, face forward, clutching my stomach and gasping for air.

"What's this, yo?" One of the red-spiky-haired bullies said.

"Looks like dirt to me…" a bald kid with cool blue shades grunted.

The bully in the middle, wearing a grey hooded jumper that showed an elaborately designed Shinra Inc. logo, was probably the scariest of them all. The jumper showed only his mouth and left the rest in darkness, stood on my head and there was even more pain. They laughed amongst each other for a while longer before the Jumper said,

"Reno, clean up this bit of dirt for me, will you?"

"My pleasure, yo!" he said as he cracked his knuckles.

All the other bullies began advancing on me too and soon there were a barrage of fists coming from every angle. I couldn't breath. There was only excruciating pain. Lights were flashing in front of my eyes and everything was going in and out of focus. Then there was hardly any pain. The last thing I remember was Sakura's figure in the background. It seemed like she was crying or something but I didn't get a good enough look. Darkness.

It seemed that I had fallen asleep, and I say fallen asleep because boys don't faint; only girls do. This was because the sky had turned a very orange-y, purple-y, pink. Everything was still blurry and I couldn't see much but something kept prodding my eye. It was a very cold something and it started to bug me. I pushed it away but a voice simply said.

"Don't move or it'll only get worse."

It was Sakura. She was pressing an ice-pack against my eye. I reached up and touched it and found that it felt raw and tender.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Reno hit you in the eye. I think that was what made you faint." Her face was dotted with tears but she was smiling all the same.

"Boys don't faint…"

But she ignored me and laid my head in her lap and continued to press the ice-pack. Her legs were just as soft as her hands. A light tingly feeling rushed throughout my body and rested in my belly. I smiled.

"I could get used to this…" I thought to myself.

I stared at the sky for a little longer, wondering about life and Sakura until my parents came to pick us up and take us home.

I noticed many things about her over the next few years. The way she talked to other people and then the way she talked to me. I could distinguish a slightly softer tone in her voice whenever I was in her presence.

Once when our families went to watch a movie I noticed that she was playing with her hair, running her fingers through its curls, and glancing over at me. I was trying to pretend that I didn't notice but just that took a lot of effort. I didn't catch a single word of the movie and I was feeling that odd, tingly sensation running through my body again.

When I was around twelve years old I remember Sakura challenging me to a bike race. I forgot why she did but I remember her trying with all her might to try and beat me. She was going so fast that she was just about to pass me and head for the finish line. She was just about there, until that large rock got in her way. She hit it and everything went into slow-mo. Sakura hit the rock. I saw the bicycle wheel pop as it hit the jagged edge. The back of the bike went straight up and then upside-down whilst the front end skidded sideways. Sakura was forced to let go of the handles as she left the seat and was thrown through the air. She came closer. She got to a point where I could practically count the cute little freckles on her face. Her eyes were shut tight. Suddenly, everything went to real-time and our faces met with impact. I was thrown off my bike. Without realising it, almost instinctively, I had grabbed her around the shoulders to protect her from anything we might hit.

We stopped rolling and I rested my scratched and bruised arm on a bench that happened to be placed there. I could feel a lot of blood gushing out of my elbow, but it didn't matter. We had stopped and Sakura was safe if not for a few scratches here and there. Her bike still had momentum, however. It just missed us, bouncing up into the air and catching my hand in one of the wires in the wheel.

The fact that it was still going caused my arm to bend the wrong way. All I heard was the crash of the bike and a sickeningly loud crack emanating from my elbow whenever I tried to move it. I felt sick imagining what it must have looked like and I didn't know why I couldn't feel it. Any normal person would be screaming in pain right now. I held it in because Sakura was still holding on to me.

Instead she opened her eyes and realising what had happened, she screamed at the top of her lungs. I was in the hospital for at least two months. Sakura visited me pretty much everyday and was crying the whole time. It didn't hurt very much at all but everyone made a big fuss about it anyway.

Lying in that hospital bed was really boring and it made me think. I thought about life's many problems, like why everyone keeps polluting and littering and why my Grandpa's armpits smelled like grandma's cooking (that really confused me) and how I could fix everything. I also thought about Sakura. She was the person I thought about most. All night, when I was meant to be asleep, I thought about her and why it hurt so much inside when she wasn't around.

I had become really good friends with one of the doctors there. Actually he wasn't really like a doctor. He was more of a cool, older brother whom you could talk to whenever you had any problems. His name was Cid. I felt that I could trust him so I asked him if he knew what the feeling was, if it was a disease and if he could cure it.

He laughed and said that it wasn't some sort of disease but a feeling, a very strong and powerful emotion, possibly the most powerful in the universe and if you've got it then there's nothing you can do about it. With that, he gave me a pat on the head and left. That was what confirmed my theory but instead of panicking and losing my mind like a normal man would, I kept my cool and continued living life as normal.

When we were around fourteen we didn't play as often as before. We just hung out at the lake where we had spent so many years together. We found that the trees surrounding the lake were called cherry-blossoms. The light-snowlike-pink of the trees matched Sakura's hair stunningly making her look even more attractive than she already was.

There was this special tree that was just strong enough to seat both of us next to each other and still be comfortable. It was my favourite spot. We sat there and talked to each other about life and what our futures had in store for us. We told each other our dreams and ambitions and whatever problems we had. When I told her that I wanted to be a doctor she didn't laugh or joke. Instead, she encouraged me and cheered for me, even though it was near impossible for me to achieve that goal at the point I was now.

She turned slightly red as she told me that she wanted to marry a doctor and have a big family. I said nothing, turning red at the thought of Sakura and I being together. She held my hand whilst showing me once more that beautiful smile. I could've looked into her eyes forever.

One day, when we were swimming in the lake, she told me that she was tired and would like to take a rest. She floated in the water, belly-up with her hand over her eyes so I decided she wanted me to pick her up and carry her over on to the bank where we kept our stuff. She wore one of her best bikinis with a sarong tied around her waist and the effect of the sun shining on her smooth skin was enchanting.

There was the same feeling again in my belly. A feeling that said to never let her go. To just hold on to her forever. I wanted to. I wanted this moment to last for an eternity but I thought it might seem odd and I didn't want anything to seem uncomfortable so I put her down and sat next to her instead.

We looked into each others eyes and I felt love like I never have before. I embraced the feeling with open arms. Yes, it was love. I wanted to tell her so, but before I could think of a way to say it to her, she stood up and shouted,

"Last one to get back to the lake buys the other an ice-cream!"

I could've won easily but I slowed down on purpose just so I could be with her for another three hours. It worked.

About another two years passed by and we were already in high school. It was then, when I heard something I did not want to hear. Sakura had a boyfriend. At first I made myself believe it was a rumour, or maybe they thought that I was her boyfriend, but when I saw her arm in arm, laughing together, with Reno, the boy that had beaten me to a bloody pulp so many years ago, my heart slowly broke into little pieces. She caught me looking at her and waved but I looked away and pretended that I didn't see her. I was afraid that she'd see the tears welling up in my eyes, the disappointment wanting to escape my body and shout out into the sky, but I held it in. The next few days were like hell to me. I was so depressed that all I did was lie in bed, crying.

At school, whenever I saw her flowing pink hair approaching in the corridors I would take a different path to the classroom. When she visited me at home I would not come down to see her. I never returned her phone calls and eventually, I stopped all contact with her. This made me even more miserable but I thought it was the best way to forget about her. A few weeks felt like years to me when I was without her.

I thought about what Sakura might have been doing with Reno. Perhaps she had already shown him the lake that only she and I knew about. The lake where we had shared so many precious memories. Our private place.

My parents became concerned, saying that they could hear me crying at night but I lied and told them that it must be some animal living on the roof. I actually broke down and cried silently to myself when I saw her head right next to Reno's. They weren't kissing, but it was as if they were whispering some secrets to each other.

Someone asked me what was wrong,

"Just leave me alone… to die!" I cried out a little too loud. I didn't mean to add that last bit on. It just came out with my feelings.

Realising my mistake I felt humiliated. Everyone was looking at me with faces of either disgust or pity, but I didn't care about them. I felt humiliated because Sakura was looking at me. She must have heard what I said and felt sorry for me, maybe she even thought I was weird. I ran away and didn't come back to school for the next day or the day after that. I think my parents knew what was happening because they never bothered me unless it was time to eat.

On the weekend following that event Sakura came to my house. I did the same thing and ignored her, covering my tear-ridden face with my pillow. I heard the anxious voice of my mother downstairs asking something like,

"What happened?"

The next thing I knew there was a pounding on the stairway. The door to my room burst open and Sakura was crying on my shoulder. She said she was sorry, and explained that she had split up with Reno because of an argument that had been about me. Strange feelings were present at this time. One was happy because she was free again and I would finally be able to tell her how I felt. The other was a deep sense of emptiness because she was crying about the loss of Reno.

After that, well, it was like old times. I was happy again. But I was never sure if we could recover the relationship we once had. The one where we could talk and laugh with each other so freely and happily. We swam in the lake, talked to each other in the tree and did everything together. She never mentioned Reno and I was thankful for that. I wanted so badly to tell her how I felt, but I just couldn't. I was afraid that if I told her about how I really felt she might think I'm weird and not like me anymore, or we might end up like she and Reno did and split up. If that happened I would simply cease to exist. The days went on by like any other. Soon, a school prom night was planned.

We were sitting in the tree by the lake, the sun blending beautifully into the water. "Would you be my partner for the prom next week?" She asked me. She held my hand waiting for a response.

"You know… every boy at school would die to be your partner." I replied.

"Would you? Would you die for me?"

I stared at her. I had almost let slip how I truly felt about her. But if I had said yes, I wonder what would've happened next? Instead I stared out onto the lake again, taking in every detail. The clumps of berry bushes nestled amongst each other. The cherry blossom trees dancing to the springtime serenade. Various birds cooing amongst each other and feeding in the lake. Frogs hopping and croaking upon the lily-pads. The world truly was a beautiful place.

"I'd love to be your partner for the prom night."

She squeezed my hand. We stayed there together for what seemed like only minutes but every one was like going to heaven. It was still at least a week early but I wanted to make sure that I was ready.

The day after Sakura asked me I went straight to the mall to buy a great black suit. I also bought a new bottle of perfume and a necklace to give to her on the day. I was really nervous. I emptied the bottle instantly and instead of ringing the doorbell of her house my hand just wobbled in mid-air. Once I finally pressed it I realised that I had forgotten the necklace. I ran back into my house and grabbed it but just as I stepped outside I heard the other door slam shut. I rang the doorbell again and,

"WHAT! GET OUTTA HERE DAMN KIDS! Oh… Hehe, it's you! Come in! Come in!"

"ah…" I stood frozen to the spot, a bit of spit clung to my face.

"Ehh… Hey listen buddy, don't tell Sakura that I accidentally blew up at you, or else she'll scold me later. Probably when no-one's looking… 'kay buddy?"

He was smiling when he said that but he looked like he was serious. I stepped inside. Thinking back, I had actually never been inside Sakura's House. I always came and slept over when Zack and I were friends.

It looked so different. The old photos of Zack's family were now replaced by stuffed teddy bears and little trophies of all the races Sakura had won. I sat down.

"You know? Sakura talks about you all the time."

"Watsordathingduzsheesayboutmee?"

"S'cuse me?" He raised an eyebrow with what looked like amusement, plastered all over his face.

"W-what I meant to say was," I took a deep breath, "What sort of things does she say about me?"

"Oh, all kinds. Like what kinds of things you two get up to… and how she feels about you…" there was a mischievous grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear.

"How she feels about me?" I had a feeling he was just toying with me now.

"Yep, but she told me not to tell you anything so no luck there partner. Hehe."

I knew it…

As he gave me a slap on the back a voice said,

"How do I look?"

I looked up the stairway and smiled.

"Like an angel."

She wore a billowing, sparkling, white dress which made her curly, pink hair even more stunning.

She blushed quite profusely and looked away again, running her hand through her many curls.

"Ahem, I'll be waiting in the car then." Her father said awkwardly and he began shuffling out the doorway.

I pulled out the necklace and she squealed with delight.

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" She gave me a kiss on the cheek, "You've never given me a proper present before, you know?"

Thinking back, I realised that she was right. It was a good thing I bought a really good-quality necklace. She turned around and moved her hair so I could put it on for her. My hands were shaking quite violently by this point. She noticed this and took hold of my hand.

"You don't have to be so nervous you know?" She giggled, "It is only me after all."

"Right, sorry." I tried to keep a straight face but it proved quite difficult.

I calmed myself and put the necklace around her neck. I noticed how smooth her skin was and I blushed a little myself. Lucky she was looking the other way.

"Well, let's get going then." I exclaimed with airiness.

Once we arrived at the gymnasium (all the equipment had been cleared to make space for a dance floor), it was difficult to recognise all our friends. All the baggy shirts and straight school pants were gone to be replaced by smart black or white suits, the chequered dresses with red, black or white ballroom gowns. After a vigorous search, we took our seats by a group of friends that we knew quite well. I found it somewhat amusing that they didn't come with a date. I didn't say anything about it though.

At that point I was rather glad that Sakura had asked me to the prom. It seemed that everyone else did have a partner to come with. We all laughed and chattered amongst each other for awhile until the DJ played the next song.

The lights dimmed and the disco ball shone bright as a slow song wavered out of the speakers. The song sounded sad, yet it felt like there was new hope. A better future. That's what it felt like to me anyway.

"Cloud, will you dance with me?"

"Huh?"

She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the middle of the dance floor before I could even think of an answer. It was a bit awkward at first. I had never danced with a girl before. I had never even danced before. I kept stepping in the wrong direction and crashing into other people.

"No, it's like this see?"

She placed my right hand on her hip and my left hand in her right and guided me throughout the dance. I found it was quite easy when I put my mind to it and soon it was I that was guiding her. She rested her head on my chest and the rest was like magic. Just then, I finally realised just how beautiful she was. The cute little freckles scattered amongst her cheek. Her adorable, little nose. Her flowing pink hair. Everything about her was perfect.

I stared into her dazzling blue eyes. She stared into mine. And slowly, but surely, I fell in love with her all over again. I wanted this moment to last forever but I knew it would have to end at some point. The music had been going on for some time now. It took me a few moments to summon up my courage. I bent my head low so I could whisper in her ear, the thing that I had wanted to tell her for so many years. Just as I was about to say it however, the music stopped, the lights shone bright again and the magic was gone. I still hadn't told her how I felt. Idiot. We sat back down as more conversation ensued.

I had screwed up. Now I would never find the time to tell her. Out of the entire time I had been with her, out of all the chances I had to tell her. That was probably the only one where I could say it, and not be passed off as a joke. The only chance where she could realise my true feelings. And I had missed it, just like that.

Out of sheer uneasiness and disappointment I asked Sakura if she wanted a drink. I wanted to leave and just have some time to think by myself. It took me quite awhile to find the table where all the food was kept. When I got back however, Sakura had disappeared. I asked our friends if they knew where she was but none of them had actually seen her leave. I was in distress, the feeling of uneasiness rising in my belly. I searched the hall twice but still I couldn't find her. I noticed that some of the kids that were dancing were now crowded against the front entrance.

I pressed through to check out what was going on. When I reached the front however, I saw two silhouetted figures sitting on the one of the benches near the garden. I noticed the long white dress of Sakura, the spiky red hair of Reno. Some people were looking at me, staring, faces of either pity or confusion. I hated them, hated everyone. I left the gymnasium without saying anything.

It was like the time Sakura had a boyfriend all over again. If she passed me by, my body would hurt all over, my heart most of all. I would whisper under my breath,

"God, how I love you…" but she would not hear me. She would simply pass me by as if none of our past had ever happened.

At times she would wave, her stunning smile tempting me to wave back and call out to her, but I would only look away. Whenever we were about to meet in the corridors I would turn the other way and take another path to the classroom. If she visited I would not come done to see her. If she called I would not answer the phone. This time, I didn't feel anything. Happiness, or anger? What were they to me now?

Now there was only emptiness, a dark and endless void where my heart had once existed. Every bit of emotion I had was now gone. Gone, like the only one I ever loved abandoned me. Left me for the one who beat me up when I was a kid, whenever I did something stupid, would laugh at me and make the whole school remember it for the rest of the term. I hated the thought of Sakura being with another boy. I hated him, and I hated Sakura…

No I don't. I could never hate Sakura. She would still be in my heart, no matter what she did. Even if she told the whole world my most deepest and darkest secrets. I wouldn't even care because it was her who would be telling everyone. That's how much I love her. If only she could've seen that. If only I'd have told her how I felt about her. Then everything would've been alright.

The next day, I promised myself that I would work hard. I would finish college and go to university. I would achieve my dream of becoming a doctor. I would finally be worthy of telling her how I felt. Tell her about all the time we had spent together and how every waking second of my life I had been in love with her. I didn't care if she had a boyfriend.

I would tell her that I loved her. I loved her more than anything in the world. More than the clear, blue skies, the soft, green grass, the trees that swayed in the wind and the cool, refreshing water. Those amounted to nothing because she was with me. I would tell her and everything would be alright. Even if she rejected me then at least she would finally know how I felt.

But the years went by slowly. Every night I cried thinking about her and every day was hell, trying to avoid her. Many times she tried to speak to me, but I simply pretended I didn't hear her. Didn't see her beautiful pink hair, her hand waving in the air, running to catch up to me. I just turned away and started walking. Every step I took felt harder and more forced than the last, but I knew it was the right thing to do. This was the only way I could achieve my goal.

She was still as quick on her feet as when we were kids but I was always ready. I found hiding spots all over the school and darted behind one when I saw her approaching. I desperately wanted to call out to her. To tell her that I was here. Waiting for her. But what did it matter? She was already with another boy. None of that mattered anymore. I became isolated and only studied in my room. I wouldn't go up to the tree house that Sakura and I had rebuilt because it would bring back so many memories and it would hurt so much to think about them. It hurt even more thinking about the lake and how many hours we had spent there together.

The day of graduation finally came. I had achieved top grades in all my classes and was handed an award for being one of the top ten students in the entire school. Up on the stage I could see Sakura's pristine, pink hair. Her head was lowered, as if she didn't want to see me. I ignored it and turned to the rest of the school, smiling with what was more like an empty shell, a mask, instead of my face.

I would finally be able to go to university. I would become a doctor. But to do that, I would have to move away to another state. I would have to be far away from Sakura if I wanted to achieve my dream. I accepted because at the time I thought that being far away from her would make it easier to forget about her. I would be able to study properly and easily become a doctor.

Just before I left the school, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Sakura. She was smiling, but it wasn't the happy smile that I had grown to know and love. It was a smile filled with sorrow and grief. She handed me a rose, tears were welling up in her eyes. The sight of her brought on a whole host of memories and I instantly began to cry. It seamed like she was about to say something. Instead she just turned around and left, tears streaming down her face. I felt uneasy flying all the way to my new university.

There was something about the way Sakura handed me the rose but I forced it out of my mind as I was just arriving at the airport. The time I spent in university was no better than the time I spent in college. It was probably even worse. Everyday was excruciatingly slow and every night I cried and thought about her even more. I had a photo of her that I would stare at for hours at a time. Just stare and do nothing else.

I caught many girls looking my way, smiling or playing with their hair but it only made it worse. Everything reminded me of Sakura. Cherry trees were planted all throughout the school. There was a lake just beyond the school grounds where children spent their time swimming or catching frogs. They played baseball in the park and bought ice-cream for their friends.

I was caught staring out of my classroom window many times and got in trouble for slacking off but I couldn't help it. I needed to be with Sakura.

Many years passed, the day finally came when I finished University. I achieved a scholarship and became a doctor. I was finally ready. I flew back home and went to visit Sakura straight away. However, when I got there I knew instantly that something was wrong. I saw Sakura's sister standing outside their house. I called to her and waved.

"Hello there! I know this might seem sudden, but, is Sakura around?"

She looked at me but she didn't smile. She didn't even look surprised, even though I had been gone for all those long years. It was odd because she was a happy-go-lucky laze type like Sakura and I. It looked as if she'd been crying for a long time as her eyes were red and puffy.

"It's good to see you again, kiddo…" she hesitated for a moment, her arms crossed, "I'll take you to her."

I tried making conversation as we walked down the street.

"Did something happen? You don't seem your usual bright and happy self…"

But she kept her replies short and kept looking straight ahead. We took a turn down another street and found ourselves in the park. It was just the way I'd left it. The various shops lined up across the street, the little playground where Sakura and I used to play, the baseball net where I argued with an old man and the ice-cream truck where I was beaten up. I smiled as I recollected all those memories.

Even that last one because I had been with Sakura. And now, after so many years, I was going to be able to meet her again. After all these years I would finally be able to speak to her. Tell her I loved her, ever since we were kids. We reached the trees which marked the path to where the lake was. She must have told her sister if she knew where it was, but I didn't mind. She was her family after all. The lake was just as beautiful as ever. The trees swaying in the wind, the bushes dotted along behind them, and the sunset, blending into the lake, just like when we were kids.

I looked around for any sign of her but I couldn't see her figure anywhere. I couldn't see anyone at all in fact. I turned around and asked her sister where she was. She didn't say anything, just pointed over to the tree that Sakura and I sat in so many years ago. I walked over to it, noticing a long, flat mound just beside the tree.

A tombstone stood there just under the branch we sat on. I didn't even need to read it. I already knew what the name carved into the stone spelled. I stood there, horror-struck. My soul, slowly being drained from my body. I felt numb. I couldn't move. Tears began welling up in my eyes.

"S-She loved you, you know?" her voice had cracked, "All she'd ever talked about when you left was you. She died just a week ago, telling us that she wanted to be buried here. The last thing she ever said was your name… She also wanted me to give this to you when you came back."

She handed me a little box and with that she left. I turned around to look at the tombstone. I was crying now.

I opened the little box and found an assortment of trinkets. A baseball, a comic book, a music CD, a dirty old ice-pack, an empty bottle of perfume, some cherry blossoms from the tree, some tickets from a movie we had seen, a bit of bandage from when I had broken my arm and the necklace I had given her for the prom night. I was crying so hard now, crying loudly, but it didn't matter because no one was near. No one to hear it. I found a note at the bottom of the box.

* * *

Dearest Cloud, 

I know that by the time you have read this letter I will have passed on. I just want to say that the time I spent with you were probably the happiest days in my life. Remember when I'd just moved into that house? You looked a bit goofy when you waved at me but there was just something there that I liked about you. The way you acted in front of me and the way we talked to each other. I know we were a bit young and we had just met but that was just the way I felt about you. I was so happy when I was with you. I felt like everything was going to be alright when I was with you.

A few days after my arrival, you took me to see the lake that only you and you friend Zack knew about. I remember that we were catching frogs. I was uneasy because I had never done anything like that before, but I did it just so I could be with you. When I caught that really big frog and you applauded me I turned away, embarrassed, but I was so happy because you had acknowledged me.

A few days after that we were playing baseball. Do you remember? I hit the ball so hard that it flew out of the park. You were smiling at me, but then the ball hit the window of that old mans house. I was about to say it was my fault when you stood in front of me and told the man that it was you who hit the ball and offered to pay for the damages. I felt both happy and sad because I found out that you would do something like that for me, even though it would get you into a lot of trouble.

Then there was the time I was being bullied in the park. I had asked you to buy some ice-cream so that you wouldn't be there when they started making fun of me. I knew they would because they had done so at school and they would definitely go after me at the park. When you saw them however, you came running in to protect me even though they outnumbered you. I felt scared that they were going to hurt you and when they began punching you I thought I was going to die because you must have been feeling so much pain. When they left, I asked the ice-cream man for an ice-pack and began caring for you. You woke up a few minutes later and just lay your head on my lap, allowing me to continue looking after you for longer which made me so happy because I could care for you that way.

When we were a bit older our family went to see a movie. I tried to attract your attention but you wouldn't look at me whatsoever. I felt sad because of that but continuously tried to show you how I felt. I challenged you to a bike race. I didn't tell you the real reason why I wanted to. I actually wanted to show you that I was good at my own things as well, and then maybe you would like me, but it all went wrong when I hit that rock. I catapulted off my bike and flew straight into you. I was so afraid that I was barely conscious. All I remembered was feeling your arms around my shoulders. I thought it must have been to protect me when we fell down and once again I felt that same happiness from before. We were rolling down the road and we stopped I didn't move because I just wanted you to hold on to me forever.

My bike came crashing down on us however. I'm not sure how it happened because my eyes were closed but when I heard that bike hit the ground I looked up and saw your arm twisted around the wrong way. I screamed at the top of my voice. I didn't know what else to do. The whole time you were in the hospital I cried because it was my fault that you had been injured. I wished that it had been my arm that had broken so that you wouldn't have had to lie there for the sake of me.

When we reached the age of fourteen we began hanging out at the lake more often. We sat in that special tree of ours and talked about everything. About the world or what we might become in the future. You told me you wanted to become a doctor remember? You must probably be a really successful one now huh? At that time you must have been thinking that it was impossible but I believed in you. I always believed that you could achieve that goal. I encouraged you and hoped that at the same time you would tell me your true feelings about us, but you didn't. I thought to myself that all I had to do was try harder, so I did.

I asked my sister what kind of clothes I should wear if I was to try and make a certain someone fall in love with me. Embarrassingly, she knew instantly that I was talking about you and said the best way to seduce a man was to wear something that shows a lot of skin. That and doing something that involved some sort of close contact. I followed her advice and invited you for a swim in the lake. Halfway through, I told you that I was really tired. I laid on the water hoping you would pick me up and carry me over to where we kept our belongings. You were holding me so close to you and again I felt that same happiness that only you could give me. But when we reached our spot you simply laid me down without saying anything. I was disappointed so instead I challenged you to a race meaning that we could be together for another few hours. It worked.

By this time you're probably thinking about Reno. I didn't really consider him my boyfriend. All I really wanted was to make you jealous and to show you that I was capable of loving just as any other woman was able to. The plan backfired on me however as you begun to isolate yourself from me. I was so sad and when you cried out, loud enough for the whole school to hear, I felt even more depressed because of that.

I broke up with Reno on the weekend. It was because I wanted to go and see you but all Reno wanted was to just go out to the arcade. I ran into your house and burst through your bedroom door. I was only pretending to cry though because I didn't really care about Reno. I only wanted to see that you cared for me and loved me like I loved you but you never gave me a clue to how you felt. You didn't say anything or do anything that would have suggested the way you might have felt about me. You simply put your hand around my shoulder and let me cry on you.

Thankfully, everything went back to normal after that. There was no awkwardness between us and I was happy for that. We continued to visit the lake just like old times. I tried so hard to patch things up between us but I couldn't tell wether you cared or not that I was with Reno and it just made me feel so unsure of myself inside. I sometimes made myself believe that you had been jealous and whenever I caught your eye I thought I could see a sort of sadness and isolation but if you were feeling those, you hid it incredibly well.

I couldn't think of anything else to do that might make you fall for me. The schools prom night was planned however so I immediately took action and decided to ask you to be my partner. I held your hand and I remember you telling me that every boy in the school would die to be my partner. I saw my chance and took it. I asked you if you were one of those boys who would die for me. I think you caught me however as you didn't answer straight away. You simply stared out onto the lake and responded by telling me that you'd love be my partner for the prom night. I noticed that you used that special word I was so longing for you to say to me and I was so happy that you had accepted.

That night was really the happiest night of my life. You were all dressed up for me and you even bought me a necklace. You told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that made me even happier. We left for the gymnasium and sat down near our friends. Remember that song that we danced to? That was my favourite song as it could've been talking about us. It was about how two lovers met when they were children, how they had spent practically every living moment with each other and how sometimes they would find themselves in painful situations, but nothing would ever separate them. That was definitely how I felt about us.

When the lights dimmed and the song came on I immediately took hold of your hand and dragged you onto the dance floor. I know it must have been sudden but I really wanted to dance with you to that song. It meant so much to me, even though it must seem to be a little thing like that. I just wanted you to know how much love I had felt for you.

I found that you didn't have any experience in dancing. I giggled as that made me happy as well because I was then able to teach you. You learned quickly and soon you were guiding me through all the steps of the dance. Those few, brief minutes felt like I had gone to heaven with you. I was so happy we were dancing together. My heart was bursting with joy and happiness but it would probably have looked weird if I did anything and I didn't want the moment to end so I simply laid my head on your chest. I was thinking to myself that you did love me. Not just like a love between friends but the love between two people who have spent their whole lives together, just as we had.

As the song was about to finish I noticed you put you head close to mine, as if to say something but then the song ended and we resumed our seats. You asked me for a drink and I accepted so that I would have time to fix myself up. It was then that I would tell you how I felt because I had wanted to say it to you for so long. I made my way to the bathroom but just before I reached it Reno came and told me that he wanted another chance to be with me.

I knew that if you saw me with him you'd get the wrong idea so I asked him to come out into the garden. It was there that I told him that it was you whom I loved and that there was nothing else in the world to me. He was stoic about it all and said that it was fine, that he understood. He knew what I felt about you and even said, that at times, he felt like he was intruding on a relationship that he thought you and I had. He also wanted me to tell you that he was sorry for teasing you all those years, and ask you if you could ever forgive him.

I entered the hall and began looking for you. I couldn't find you, however, and I concluded that you had seen me with Reno, misunderstood and ran off without telling me. After that I tried many times to explain to you that I wasn't in love with Reno but you never gave me a chance. You evaded me wherever I went.

When I tried to meet you in the corridor you would turn around and walk in a different direction. You would not come down to see me if I visited and you never answered my phone calls. All that time without you was like hell to me. Every day I thought about you and every night I cried my heart out because I wanted to be with you. I couldn't focus in class and I got into trouble many times but I didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that you had left me.

I tried desperately to explain to you how I felt but I could never catch up to you. The day of graduation came and I was becoming even more depressed because I knew that if I didn't fix things up between us now I would never be able to talk to you again. Just before you left for home I finally caught up to you. I gave you a rose. A single rose to show the powerful feeling of love that I felt for you. I was about to tell you that I loved you but when I saw your face, how sad and alone it looked, I couldn't say anything.

I knew that depression was caused by me and I turned around and ran away crying. The next day I found out that you had left the state to go to a university. I cried non-stop for weeks at a time but even after all that I still felt sad and depressed. Whenever I fell asleep I dreamed of you being with other girls and it hurt so much because I only wanted you all to myself. I couldn't stand the thought of you being with other girls and it hurt so much inside. I became isolated and stopped seeing other friends. I wasn't able to show you that I had grown into a woman, capable of loving you. Instead, you only loved me like an older brother would for his younger sister.

I guess I just didn't try hard enough to show you how I felt. If only I had told you, maybe we could've had a relationship that only two lovers could share. I would've been happy then, and I would've done everything in my power to make you happy as well. I'm sorry I couldn't tell all of this to you before you left. I know it might be a bit late but I just one to say it to you once. I was so glad that it was me that stepped out of that car on that fateful day. I was so glad that I had met you and had gotten to know you.

I love you. More than anything in the world. More than the clear, blue skies, the soft, green grass, the trees that swayed in the wind and the cool, refreshing water. Those were nothing to me, because I had been with you.

Forever yours,

Sakura

* * *

I looked up at the sky. Instead of being cheerful, blue and cloudless as it usually was, it had turned a dull, grey that screamed of only depression and sorrow. It began to rain. Rain, on my sad and now empty existence. I placed the note back into the box, followed by the odd assortment of trinkets that resembled memories from what seemed like only yesterday had occurred. All my feeling had gone. Now there was only misery and despair. I gave the tombstone one last glance, bent down and touched the soil. I remembered the last time I had seen her. She was crying then, and she had run away from me. I never said a word. 

"I'm feeling a bit thirsty. Would you like a drink?"

That was the last thing I had ever said to her. It was pointless. I felt an even deeper emptiness inside. It felt like something grand had just been offered to me, but then it was snatched away before I could even reach for it. Why couldn't I have said something better that time? Or I could have said something to her after graduation. I should have told her that I loved her. But I was too much of an idiot. I just silenced myself and never gave her a clue as to how I felt.

Sakura… If only I'd have known sooner. If only you'd have told me that you too felt the same love for me that I had for you. But it's too late. I was so close to her now, yet this soil, this simple thing was keeping me from seeing her ever again.

I prayed,

"Oh god, please help the only one I ever loved make it safely to heaven…"

I trudged on homeward through the rain. It reverberated throughout my body, conquering me, filling me with grief. Every step caused so much pain; it was a miracle I could still stand. After what seemed like hours I reached home, greeting my parents. I sat with them, talked to them and had dinner with them.

The next day I wrote them a note explaining how much I loved them and thanking them for all the support they had given me. I hid it in the same box that contained all my memories of Sakura and hid them in my room. I bade my parents' farewell and left for the secret lake. To the cherry tree I used to sit in with Sakura so long ago. I leaned against its trunk, rubbing the tombstone that sat next to it with my hands.

I saw the sun rise one last time, saw the blossoming cherry trees one last time,

I thought of Sakura, one last time, and died…

* * *

**End Note:**

**Well, there it is... tell the truth, but be nice too X3**

**If there is something wrong with it (and i know there will be somewhere) then please tell me what it is and maybe how i can fix it up. You'll even get recognition! XD

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